Saviour Mentality...

Sitting in the owners corner of a rented cab with air conditioning  and watching d sun set with 'Romantic' by Korede the bello playing in very low tones but loud enough to hear it, my mind drifts and it got me thinking about my 'Ex' this probably stemmed from the call his best friend made to me to check up on me earlier in the day got me thinking about him.

It's been close to three years since we ended things although we are very cordial. I just distance myself from him in recent months because he's still full of  lies.
Back to my thoughts I began to ask myself, what in the world did I see in this guy? He's nothing of the kind of man I'd ever be attracted to. My family and friends were surprised when they met him, although he has a warm jovial personality that they easily got to like but his general outlook was nothing of what they knew I'd be attracted to. Our meeting and dating was not the usual one, it kind of just happened.
Anyways, in my thoughts I hit something I could call my 'Eureka' moment : now 'Raggae blues' by Harrysong and Co is playing. Yes, my eureka moment is this, I have a saviour mentality.
I get attracted to people in need or people that are broken and I try to fix them. I devote my time and resources to fixing them. It's his issues that attracted me to him and this is so so true. Looking down the line I see how I get attracted to them because of compassion I feel and empathy and this isn't a great mentality. It doesn't portray the truth about feelings. You tend to get absorbed in the emotions you feel from the empathy and compassion and you try to help them and they fall for you and that's what people describe and say 'she's such a sweet and selfless person that's why I love her.
I have the saviour mentality, always wanting to go out of my way to help people fix their issues. A friend of mine constantly says to me. God says to 'Love your neighbour as yourself' you love yours morethan yourself. It's not a good thing my dear, you're being really silly. People will take advantage of you. Do not allow your niceness turn to foolishness and you cannot save everybody.
This is so true, this is the reason I was attracted and I stayed with him for the time that I did. He probably was never in love with me, he just felt indebted to me that's why we became and that's why it was so easy to cheat.
I know this now. I know better. It's never a mistake really, it's always a lesson. What you do with your mistakes is what helps you become stronger or bitter.
No bitter bone in this one, I am full of strength and I am happy and making progress. We wake, we live and we learn!